


He's Your Father

by daytonamom



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Related, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-25 15:45:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12535316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daytonamom/pseuds/daytonamom
Summary: Pre-Episode for Somebody's Going to Emergency,Somebody's Going to Jail.





	He's Your Father

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a long time ago when the show was on the air. Some of it may be AU

The phone felt incredibly heavy in his hand. That was the only thing his mind would let him focus on. He didn't feel anything at the moment, only that he never realized how heavy his phone was. He had gotten the message from Cathy when he had come back from Staff forty-five minutes ago.

He glanced at the clock. Was it only forty five minutes ago? He remembered thinking that it was odd that his mother would call him at work, maybe something had happened to his dad. But he had shrugged it off and called her. Now fifteen minutes after his mother had stopped crying and told him that she was going to be fine, he still held the phone. That was when there was a knock at his office door. The sound pulled him out of the fog that had consumed him.

"Sam?" Cathy called from her position by the door.

Sam nodded his head and hung up the phone that he had been holding. When he looked up at her, he saw that she had a worried look on her face. He tried to smile at her. He failed miserably.

"Yes, what did you need?"

Did his voice sound normal? No, it had sounded like he had just been kicked in the gut. But he hadn't, had he? How could his father run around on him and his mother for twenty-eight years? How could his father have another life? His mom had told him that there was another house, another wife. What was he supposed to feel like, he didn't know but it did feel like he had been kicked in the gut. He realized his best course of action was to look down and away from Cathy's penetrating stare.

"I just wanted to know if everything was okay."

Okay, how could he be okay? Would anything in his family be okay again? Were they even a family still?

"Sure, I'm great."

He heard himself say the words. He knew he didn't believe them. He glanced up at Cathy and he knew she didn't believe them  
either. But all she did was give him a small frown and then nod at him.

"Well, I know you just talked to your mom. So, I just wondered if everyone was..."

She stopped and let her sentence drop when she looked at his face. She gave him a little smile. Sam could only imagine what she saw when she looked at his face. Apparently, she didn't liked what she saw because she changed the subject.

"I also wanted to remind you that I've got a dentist appointment tomorrow morning and I won't be in until after ten."

Sam glanced at his calendar and the clock next to it. It was after six. He nodded at her again, hoping that she wouldn't confront him about his phone call. She probably thought something was wrong. She had taken the message from his mother. Had his mother sounded upset when she had called earlier? She probably had, she had good reason to be. When Sam had called her, she had been crying. The first thing he had asked was how his dad was. That had made her cry harder. After she had told him, he had felt bad that the first thought was of his father. Why hadn't he asked her how she was?

"Sam..."

He jerked his eyes away from the clock on his desk to look back up at Cathy. She looked like she wanted to say something. Whatever it was he didn't really want to hear it.

"Yeah, you can go ahead and go. I'll see you tomorrow."

He reached for a folder that was on top of a pile of unread folders in the center of his desk and flipped it open. He knew it was a way to avoid looking at her. She stood there for a few more seconds then turned and walked back toward her desk. Sam waited until she had closed down her computer and grabbed her purse before he looked up again from the page that he had been staring at. She glanced at him, then turned and walked toward the exit. He let out a small sigh. At least she hadn't tried to come back in the office and ask more questions that he didn't have any answers for.

He tossed the folder on the desk then swiveled in his chair until he was looking out his window. How could this be happening? What had been so wrong that his father had been compelled to go out and find another family? Sam tried to remember any time in his past that might give him a clue. His father had traveled frequently when he was a child. His father was a partner in a technology company with his brother. They had started off small and now the company had grown to be one of the top three manufacturers of computer chips and hardware in the business. That was the reason Sam had gone to law school. He hadn't wanted to be sucked into the family business like his cousins had. His uncle had always stayed at home while his father always made the required business trips to help promote the business and open up new offices. Even after the business was large, and his father could have sent someone else, he had told everyone that he thought it was good business to visit the other offices.

Sam jumped when someone knocked on his door. Sam swung around in his chair to see Josh hanging on his door frame. He cleared his throat and stepped into the office. They looked at each other for a minute. Sam could see concern in his friend's eyes. Cathy must have gone to get Josh before she left.

"Did you know that they are going to close the city down for some protest on Friday?"

Sam shook his head. "No."

He swiveled his chair back around to look at view out the window. He hoped Josh would take the hint and leave him alone. But Josh was Josh and he stood in front of Sam's desk for a minute before he walked around and sat down behind Sam on the corner of his desk. Josh didn't say anything, but Sam knew that he was there. They sat that way for a couple of minutes. Then Josh became restless; he stood up and placed his hands on the back of Sam's chair.

"Sam, what's going on?"

Sam knew that Josh wasn't going to let this go. The man was so stubborn.

"My mom called while we were in staff."

Sam heard his voice break. He stopped and tore his eyes from the window to look down at his hands. He took at deep breath and tried to go on, but he couldn't. How could he tell Josh when he didn't even want to say it out loud? Josh wouldn't understand what he was going through. Josh had a good father. Or at least before his father died he had been good. Josh was proud of his dad, Josh had known that his dad had been proud of him. He had loved his dad. Sam couldn't even stand to think about his father right now.

"Sam, is she ok? How about your dad?"

Sam spun his chair around suddenly and faced Josh. The sudden movement had startled Josh and he stepped back a step.

"Why does everyone keep doing that?"

Josh looked confused and maybe a little frightened. Sam knew he didn't know what was going on but he didn't care. Why wouldn't everyone just leave him alone?

"Sam, buddy, what's going on?"

Sam leaped from his chair, walked around to the small space in front of his desk, and began to pace. He only had enough room to go about five steps in one direction before he had to turn and go in the other direction. Josh stayed out of his way.

"My mom called when we were in staff. She was upset; she was crying."

Sam stopped pacing and turned to look at Josh.

"Last weekend was my dad's birthday. Mom gave him a party at work. He got a little plastered and then stood up in front of the whole crowd and announced that he didn't want to work there anymore. He said that his daughter had convinced him to come live with her and his grandchildren in Florida."

Sam watched as a confused look spread across his friend's face.

"Sam, I thought you told me your were a only child?"

Sam snorted and then flopped down in the chair in front of his desk and stare at the floor. When he began again it was in a whisper.

"Yes. Now can you imagine my mother's surprise, as she listened to my father's speech, when he told everyone that he not only had a mysterious daughter that lived in Florida, but he also had another woman in Santa Monica. My father, always the one who loved a good joke, had decided that his birthday was the perfect time to tell everyone that this life was a sham. I guess he also decided that he liked his other life better because he told my mother he wanted a divorce, then walked out of the party. He told her right there in front of the whole place. How could he do that to her?"

Sam continued to stare at the floor. The silence in the room was horrible. Sam finally looked up at Josh. Josh had a stunned look on his face.

"Oh God, Sam, I'm so sorry"

Sam let his breath out through his nose and shook his head.

"Josh, what did I do?" Sam asked his friend in a small voice. How come he felt like a little boy? He was a grown man; he shouldn't feel this way. He felt like the world had just tilted sideways and he was hanging on by his fingernails. Suddenly Josh was in front of him. He had squatted down in front of him and was now looking directly in his face.

"Sam, there is no way that you are blaming yourself for this. I mean, come on, this has nothing to do with you. You were a little boy when he started this. You didn't have anything to do with this. And neither did your mother."

Sam shook his head no but didn't say anything. Josh reached up and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Sam, look at me"

Sam shut his eyes for a second then looked up at his friend. Josh had a pleading look in his eyes. He tried to smile but it didn't work.

"Sam, I'm an expert on the guilt trip. I have two therapists that can tell you that. Now listen to me. You had nothing to do with your father's decision to cheat on you or your mom. You are allowed to feel anything you want to right now. Get angry do whatever it is you think you need to do right now to help yourself get through this, but don't you dare try to blame yourself for any of this."

Sam took a deep breath and then nodded at Josh.

"Okay," he mumbled quietly to Josh.

Josh stood and put a hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Josh, how can I love him and hate him so much at the same time?"

Josh squeezed his shoulder and sighed heavily. Sam could feel tears starting to brim in his eyes. He didn't know what to think about anything. How could everything that he remembered be wrong? Did his father really love him?

"I don't know, Sam. I guess because he's your father."

"Yeah."

"Hey, you want to go get some dinner? I told Donna that she could go home early tonight. Some friend of hers from college is coming to town tomorrow. We can go somewhere if you want."

Sam shook his head. He definitely did not want to go out with Josh and dissect his childhood tonight.

"No, I think I really need to be alone and think."

"Are you sure?"

Sam looked up at Josh and smiled. Josh was a good friend; Sam could tell that he didn't want to leave him alone.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow."

Josh squeezed his shoulder one last time and walked to the door.

"I'm here whenever you need me, okay?"

"Sure. Goodnight"

Josh patted his door frame softly, then he turned and left the bullpen. Sam sat for a while, staring at the door. Then he got up and went next-door to Toby's office. Toby had been in meetings all day on the hill and had gone home right after staff. He took off his jacket and lay down on Toby's couch. He tried to remember if his father had ever acted strangely when he was a kid. He couldn't remember anything strange, just that he was gone more than he was home, especially when Sam became a teenager. Well, at least he knew why he was gone so much now.

Tears formed in his eyes and he let them come. He hugged his suit jacket, as the tears split down his cheeks, until there weren't any more tears and then he fell asleep.


End file.
